The Title Is Too Long
by maybethedreamisdreamingus
Summary: What happens when you put four of Orlando Bloom's characters in a room together, lets find out ... and a voice comes over the loudspeaker "answer all our questions or we'll release the fangirls".


Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! NOTHIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Random Story In Which A Load Of Orlando Bloom Characters Are For No Apparent Reason In The Same Room

(Or: The Title Is Too Long.)

Legolas was walking through the woods looking pretty and singing in a gorgeous blonde elf sort of way when for no apparent reason he was transported to another dimension. "I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! Oh so pretty and witty and briiiiiiiiiiiiight! " gets distracted from singing the entirety of Westside Story "Oooooh shiny light, I wanna touch it! " gets swept off into another dimension 

Joe was in the middle of a very important bank robbery with the rest of the Kelly gang when he is also transported to another dimension "Hey Ned, how 'bout we hit the bars after we finish here? "

"Aren't you scared the police might be there"

"That could be a slight fault in the plan yes, but -holy shit what the fuck is that! " a glaring light comes down from the sky (or ceiling rather as they are indoors but sky just sounds better) and sucks him into another dimension 

Will was in the middle of yet another pointless argument with Jack, pointless because the pirates usual logic (if you can call it that) is simply beyond most rational human beings "I really think we should just go for the straight we-attack-them approach"

"That's what they'll be expectin' though, no we need elephants, we definatly need elephants! "

"You're pissed"

"I am not! Elizabeth! That's who took all the rum! You're fuckin' girlfriend, didn't drink a drop, I swear to drunk I'm not god!"

"Well that's a new approach for you"

"Hey what's that ball of light? "

"Dunno" pokes with sword and suddenly gets sucked into another dimension 

Helen was admiring the view from Paris's eiffel tower (I know it's a cheap joke but I couldn't resist) when he suddenly got sucked into a massive ball of light, luckily he managed to grab his skirt so where ever he was going he wasn't going to turn up nude (pity) .

All our gorgeous hero's got spat out of the giant ball of light in a random room.

"fuck" said Joe

"Ai! Elbereth!" exclaimed Legolas

"If I wasn't so righteous and noble I'd swear right now" said Will

Paris just hurriedly got dressed.

Paris, Joe and Will established that they did indeed look identical, and no one could be bothered going into further detail about this, then they all turned to Legolas "so who's the blonde girl then? " said Joe in an appraising tone "I'm not a girl!" said Legolas indignantly, Joe looked away blushing and muttered something about having bad vision and a few too many pints "mortals never can hold their ale" said Legolas in condescending tones "

the only reason I drank so much was because I was wanted to get with the barmaid" Joe argued

"fair enough" said Paris with a shrug

"why does that remind me of someone I know" said Will with bitter sarcasm

"because someone you know acts like that probably" Legolas answered sincerely

"It was a rhetorical question"

"so how come blondie doesn't look like the rest of us?" asked Paris

"under that much make-up who knows what he looks like? " shrugged Joe

"I do not wear make-up!" said Legolas in scandalised tones "I have elven beauty!"

Joe spat on his hand and rubbed Legolas's forehead, it turned several shades darker, Joe's hand turned several shades paler. Legolas was silent.

Then a voice came over the loudspeaker system "_okay we're gonna ask you a few questions and you better answer them honestly or we'll set the fangirls on you"_

"What are 'fangirls' " asked Legolas

_"For you Lego, imagine a young girl with the mind of an orc and the power of a maia" _the patch of darker skin on Legolas's forehead turned pale with fright.

_"Will, imagine a combination of Jack and Norrington in the body of a teenage girl and twice as annoying" _

"I'll do anything!" Will wailed "Anything!"

_"Paris, think Greek soldiers that look like the elf" _Paris shuddered involuntarily.

_"And Joe, the victorian police as little girls"_

"Not much of a stretch of the imagination"

_"And terrifying magic powers"_

"fuck"

A/N: Review or email me : and give me some suggestions for questions we should get our hero's to answer for the next chapter! -


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